


I Know

by everydaymagic



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 03:17:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8354800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everydaymagic/pseuds/everydaymagic
Summary: The Force is strong with the Skywalkers, including Leia, and so she senses the disturbance in it when her husband dies...and her son kills him.





	

Leia is not alone when it happens. That would be asking too much. It would be too much luck for the woman turned warrior to be able to let herself go for just a moment. At least she is sitting down so that she doesn’t collapse when the searing pain through her stomach hits her, and her body begins to shake. In that moment, she feels everything. Pain, love, sorrow, joy, and oh, such yearning. She is connected to her boys.The Force is strong in her family and so Leia knows. She knows when her son kills his father. She knows when Han Solo, the man she has loved for more than half her life, leaves it for good. 

She does not cry out.  She takes the pain, feeling the burning, and roiling inside of her. She feels nauseous and dizzy and in the back of her mind hopes she does not embarrass herself by losing her lunch in the control room. The same part also wonders whose pain and sickness she is feeling? Hers? Ben’s? Han’s? She wonders too if Luke is here with her, in her mind, if he feels this pain too. Is he aware of what’s happened? Does he care? Will this be what finally brings him back?  She curses him, curses herself, curses Chewie, and Rey and Finn, and curses her son. And Han. They all failed in some respect, and this is the result.

They had not known that night on Endor so long ago that it was not the end. They had been caught up in victory, been drunk on the Ewok’s liquor, the warmth of the bonfire, and the exhilarating feeling of survival.  They had not known then how things would turn out.  But they were young. They hadn’t cared. Back then, they had been invincible and idealistic. They had gone back into battle again and again until suddenly they found they were old and tired. Tired of the responsibility, of the running, the fighting. And so they had run some more. Both Luke and Han had run from Leia when she needed them most. But she was never one to cower. She did not need Luke or Han or even Ben around. As much as it hurt her for them to leave, she did not _need_ them. She was a woman who had lost everything and so she had nothing left to lose. 

Or so she had thought.

Surrounded by her staff, as of yet clueless as to the disaster that has just occurred, Leia sits, breathing deeply, trying to manage her pain. She closes her eyes momentarily, seeing Han’s face in her mind’s eye.“I love you,” he says to her. “I know,” she whispers. 


End file.
